I’m under a great beautiful big tree filled with colors of yellow and red and orange and the grass is green and lush and the colors all around me are just vibrant beauty. I feel inspired, loved and warm. This is my place of creation. The base of the tree is big and my back is up against it. I see a deer, a female deer. Her name is Gentle Love. She has come to tell me to relax and trust that I am taken care of.
I see a mountain in the distance. At the bottom of the mountain there is a stream that runs at the base of it. In the middle there is a flat peak where you can sit and look down into the river and see the flowing water and at the very top there is another tree . . . this tree has more energy around it. It is golden and sparkly. I start walking towards the mountain. Gentle Love comes with me. She’s my pal. She is like my support so I am not alone. I hate being alone.
I get to the base . . . I am on the other side of the stream. There is a path already there. It is easy to walk up.
I see a cave in the middle of the mountain. It looks like a normal cave opening. It is a funny circle . . . at the base of the cave are wildflowers growing up from it. I go inside the cave and it is kind of like a cold cave but I see my meditation cushion there and a candle and my altar. I see a little girl. It is me as a little girl. She has come to tell me she wants to be seen, she wants to be acknowledged and she wants me to feel her inside of me.
I tell her, “I would love to see you and feel you. What do you want me to see?” What do you want me to feel?” She crawls into my lap. She wants to feel that she can be safe. She wants to be free. She does not want the responsibility of having to be strong and be a protector. She just wants to be free and trusting where she could just play and not worry. I hold her in my arms and I tell her. “You can relax, you can be yourself. You do not have to worry that anyone is going to harm you or make you feel bad about yourself. You’re perfect. You can do whatever you want to do and you can play. You don’t have to worry about Mom and Dad . . just know that I love you and you are free and I am going to protect you.”
She can breathe again. She is so excited that she can be herself and shine and be innocent and not care what other people think. I see a gift that I take with me. It is a golden heart. It is the shape of a heart and it is glowing and I am to pick it up and hold it and then place it inside my heart and that’s my new heart. She loves it because it is sparkly and gold and it’s warm and open and it feels good. I come out of the cave. It's me and the deer and my little girl and a golden heart.
We get to the top and the tree is golden also and all the trees are shimmering with golden essence in the wind.
I go up the path of clouds by myself. I see a woman. She is an older woman with long blond hair with grey in it. She is like wisdom. Her name is Angel. She has come to tell me that it is safe for me to be me, to be my natural self . . . she says I have lived through all the conditioning of others and it is time for me to stand in my truth and to let go of my past, to let go of fear and to believe in myself. It is time to find my energy again, my natural drive and to not give up.”
I ask her “Can you please take me to a place of healing?” She takes me into her arms and we are flying somewhere and we are just resting on a cloud and I am laying down and she is letting me rest and just encouraging me to relax and rest here until I am ready to get up and feel alive again.” It is like I am so tired.
I am really feeling that I am going to be OK and I am feeling my golden heart in me. I am just resting, lying down and Angel is standing next to me holding the space and I am at her feet.
I ask her, “What do I do about my life and all my responsibilities?”
She says “Just give yourself a week or two and don’t worry about how . . . just rest and let go of the fear. . . the fear of not surviving.”
She gives me a bouquet of lavender and it smells so relaxing and comforting. It is beautiful and bright purple and it smells so nice. I love it.
I am at her feet and I love touching her and feeling that connection.
She kneels down . . . she is stroking my hair. She is telling me that I am going to have everything that my heart desires and that she loves me and she is here to protect me for the rest of my journey. She tells me to trust her and that she is my divine mother and she is always with me.
I go back down the path of clouds and I land at the boat ready to collect my stuff and leave.
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